Before I have converted to Christ, I was a madman and also a maniacal killer. I was returned into sound mind in one moment when I converted to Christ (I was in age 15 years).
I have become very jealous.
I was very proud by my mathematical talent. I had bad relations with people because of opinions on Bible. I was living in extreme poverty. I decided that I need to deal with country of my habitation (Russia that time). I thought that if I continue to live in Russia I could probably die of hunger, or at least live a useless life due my poverty and inability to do anything for this reason. I thought “Only one of us (me and Russia) can live, and me is more important because of mathematical research.” I decided that Russia should be destroyed by thermonuclear war and I could escape on a plane at the time of the war. (Read End of Gospel book for details.) I expected that this will be accomplished after my faith.
Later I studied a little of ancient Hebrew, and reading Bible I concluded that I must become a missionary in Africa, because some Hebrew words were similar to description of an African mission. (This was a false prophecy as I know now, because its details haven’t accomplished.) There were words in this Bible fragment denoting “will make very multitudinous”. I’ve concluded that through me will be saved at least 100 million people, and again I thought that me is more important than the entire Russia. I continued my thermonuclear warfare with even more zeal. Moreover, I decided that if my way would fail, then instead an asteroid should fall onto the Earth and “move” Africa to the Russia (by the way killing 90% of World population, in order to accomplish my plan).
One particular evil deed which I have really accomplished was 11 September. Once two American missionaries beat me. I decided that I should punish America and said to angels: “Destroy two skyscrapers with airplanes.” My words were accomplished a few years after I have said this.
By studying the above mentioned ancient Hebrew Bible fragment I have also concluded that I am not a man but a seraph in human body. (I tried to explain the fact that I do not have scientific knowledge surpassing human knowledge by thinking that I am “ciphered”.) My pride increased with this even more.
From more Bible study I concluded that my city (Perm) would be destroyed with nuclear weapon before the end of Autumn. You know that my this prophecy was false.
Once I visited a pastor and told him about these things (especially of the expected nuclear burst in Perm and my prophetic position and that I am a seraph).
Speaking with the pastor, I told that I am tired from the war with people and that it is hard for me to resist demons from taking control over my tired human body. As I spoke this, it accomplished: I’ve lost the control over my body and pronounced disgusting Russian words about Holy Spirit.
After some time passed, I realized that I was a false prophet and I am just a human not a “ciphered seraph”.
Due to my blaspheme about Holy Spirit, I considered that I would probably go to the Hell. Contrary to what you may expect, I enjoyed the possibility to go to the Hell: I thought I was the biggest of all sinners and this should be stopped, my place is in the Hell. It is what I need, to go to the Hell.
I thought about repentance, but noticed that after my first repentance I went to a worse state: I was just a regular maniacal killer, but became an evil of world magnitude. Should I repent again? Won’t it make things yet once even worse?
Some time after this, I concluded that Gospel terminates itself in the same way as Gospel terminates Old Testament. First, I realized just that my former religion was wrong. After this I tried to kill myself, but failed and after this I spent some time in a psychiatric clinic. But later I developed some elements of the new religion, after the end of Gospel and wrote the book End of Gospel after this.
But recently I thought: It is not my evil what is significant (as the world itself which I was going to harm is not significant), but God’s victory over my evil is significant. So I should repent if I can.
Salvation is by faith not by deeds. My blasphemous words about Holy Spirit were not accordingly to the faith (but accordingly a demon taking control over my body for a few seconds). So they can’t harm salvation. True blasphemy on Holy Spirit are words accordingly false faith.
So I think, I am saved and this is indeed good, I do not need to go to the Hell.
I didn’t visit a church. I did not eat Eucharist for long time. I prayed very little.
Can a church accept me, as a prodigal son? (Two notes about the location and language of such a church: 1. I write and read in English but my spoken English (to hear the preachings) is yet weak, I study English however. 2. It seems that soon I will get rich selling my second religious book, this may allow me to easily move to the location of such a church, even if it is in Australia.)
I believe in tongues but don’t speak tongues for a long time, as in my opinion (1Cor. 13:8) “… Where there are various languages, they will cease…” after the revelation of end of Gospel. Below there is my opinion on Prosperity Gospel:
It looks like that Gospel’s definite answer about prosperity doctrine is no! (1Tim. 6:8-9) “8 But having food and clothing, we will be content with that. 9 But those who are determined to be rich fall into a temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful lusts, such as drown men in ruin and destruction.”
This is the death of Prosperity doctrine.
But remember that in Gospel after death there is resurrection! (Jam. 1:2-4) “2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you fall into various temptations, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 Let endurance have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” In this Bible verse “various” ones includes temptation of richness. So we should accept with great joy when God gives us richness. We should lack in nothing (= be rich) accordingly the above Bible quote. Also (Jam. 1:12) “Blessed is the man who endures temptation, for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life, which the Lord promised to those who love him.”
(Jam. 1:9-10) “But let the brother in humble circumstances glory in his high position; and the rich, in that he is made humble, because like the flower in the grass, he will pass away.” It is the reverse of what we thought.
Riches should understand that they are tempted more: (Jam. 5:1) “Come now, you rich, weep and howl for your miseries that are coming on you.”